I want God to be an integral part of my everyday life. Hence the attempts at praying the Rosary daily. But in the last couple of weeks while I was working a temporary "part time" job for AOL, I was actually working every free moment I had.
Rosaries went by the wayside as I ate breakfast at the computer and then continued to work throughout the morning without a break. At night I fell into bed too tired to think, much less pray like I usually do. Only a brief, "All glory and honor are yours, Almighty God..." and then I was asleep.
I am done with those work deadlines now, so its time to resume my usual prayer habits. But what disturbs me is that they should have gone by the wayside at all. They should have stayed, and everything else should have gone by the wayside. I feel like life got in the way of prayer, and my entire state of mind seemed focused on earthly things. And I am disappointed in myself.
Do I pray because I have nothing better to do? Or do I pray because God is the first priority in my life? I think this little stint may have revealed the ugly truth. Ew.
Opus Dei has the right idea about living our faith out during the most mundane of tasks. I want to do that - see God in every detail. But it has not been working out that way for me these last couple of weeks. Its like I suddenly forgot all about God - that is how unconsciously it happened. I "woke up" two weeks later and realized I had somehow forgotten God during my busy time.
I feel so weak. And I don't want this to happen ever again. How do I avoid this in the future? How can I start living my faith even in the most mundane of tasks, even when life gets too busy for everything else? How do I accomplish that?
Have you read "Story of a Soul"? I love St. Therese because she has taught, and continues to teach me, how to offer up every little thing to God. Then your whole life becomes a prayer (I'm not the best at this, I'm just speaking idealistically). Sometimes I don't sit down in the day to pray, but I still pray all day long by talking to God in my daily tasks and offering them to Him. A lot of times I will just say one decade of the rosary at a time and then it seems more doable!
ReplyDeleteAndrea, for what it is worth, God ALWAYS has time for us, even though we may not always feel as if we have time for Him. He knows us, knows what we are capable of, and knows that He has made us to be 'A royal priesthood, a saintly people'. (Don't ask me to quote Scripture and Verse for that!)
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or not, God has been with you and working through you EVERY SECOND for the last two weeks - the trick is to acknowledge Him.
I was given a little book back in 2002, called 'The Prayer of Jabez'. The prayer and quote go like this: "And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, 'Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, so that I may not cause pain!' So God granted him what he requested." (1 Chronicles 4:10, NKJV)
You know, God doesn't need to hear epic prayers, filled with poetic words and outlandish promises - that is the way of the Pharisee - He just needs to hear from you, and from all of us, that we are thankful for all the blessings that He gives us. He wants us to share our lives with Him. So, even when it seems as if the work has no end, I think that the moment that we dedicate what we are doing to God (a la Opus Dei), we are renewed and rejuvenated.
I agree with Andrea's thoughtful comments about St. Therese - believe me, I am a lifelong Catholic, and sometimes life gets hard; but, if you dedicate your daily doings to the Lord (which I try to do, as we all do), and give thanks for that day and that night, not only will God continue to provide for us, but He will somehow make His presence felt to us and will let us know that even though we sometimes leave his side, He will never leave ours.
Perhaps, you could begin the day similarly to how my father begins his. He starts by thanking God for keeping him through the night, and then proceeds to thank God for ALL the blessings He has bestowed upon him and those he cares about. He does this daily devotion AS SOON AS HE WAKES UP, EVERY DAY. It seems to me that if you are in that thankful and mindful mood, then no matter what the day throws at you, if you give it up to God, He will acknowledge it.
The important thing is to always return and renew our efforts. I believe that God is blessing your efforts, and Our Lady is pleased. Set aside a prudent amount of time for prayer, giving Our Lord your "first fruits" and remember that devoting your time to your spouse and children is part of that prayer which gives glory to God and sustains you at all times. If you feel you have fallen short, give thanks to God for that insight and for His merciful love, and start anew, daily if need be.
ReplyDeleteAndrea, I haven't read it...I was talking to God throughout my day before, and then I suddenly stopped!
ReplyDeleteEdgar, I like the thought of starting the day that way, I am going to try it.
Robert, thank you for the words of encouragement. You are right, it is a blessing to have that insight!